Tuesday, March 31, 2009

God's plan for love

Dear Caitlin,
I'm in LOVE...now don't tell me it's just a crush(I have had those B4 and this is nothing like it)...he is great in every way and a good strong christian...need I say more(I'm trying not to make to much of this)...Now I just want to be friends for now but I am worried that he found someone else to fill my place...she is really nice and sweet ,but she is not for him...maybe I'm just envious...I Love him as a brother/friend/and more...but to save my heart I want to wait till I'm older...I want him to wait for me too...now my QUESTION IS : Dose God have a plan for who we should marry? ~`~S O I~`~

Dear S O I,
Okay, I’m not going to tell you it’s just a crush. And it sounds like it’s not. Even so, that doesn’t guaranty that this guy is the ONE that God has chosen for you. The good news is that it sounds like you are getting better at picking out good guys. And it’s possible that this is God’s training ground for you to be able to recognize the “real thing” when it comes along. The bad news is that this guy might really be into this other girl, and that’s going to hurt you. But even if that’s the case, you should feel encouraged to know that God has someone even better for you. And if this guy’s not into this other girl, then you’ll just have to wait and see what comes next. Mostly you need to trust that God knows what’s best for you.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Monday, March 30, 2009

My friend is getting married to the wrong guy

Dear Caitlin,my second cosin and me are good friends(she is about 10 years older than I)and she is thinking of marring this guy he is alright and christian But I feel in my heart she can do better. Should I tell her? she really likes him. I just not what to spoil her dreams
from, O D,

Dear O D,
Ooh, that’s tough. My first instinct is that you shouldn’t tell her. Not unless she asks you. But I suppose if you’ve prayed about it, and honestly sense that God is telling you to warn her…well, I would still proceed with caution. I’ve learned that if someone isn’t asking for advice, they usually don’t want it, and they may resent it and you when they get it. The most important thing may be for you to continue being her friend. And, who knows, maybe she’ll ask.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Friday, March 27, 2009

Getting rid of those old feelings

Dear Caitlin,
well im not sure where to start.. well i guess im 15. 2 years ago i met this guy. he is not a good guy at all. he did all kinds of drugs and just played girls. i liked him for a year before we started going out. he broke my heart. i neverstopped caring for him. i would cry myself to sleep every night because id be afraid that he would O.D. with drugs and die.. i couldn't bear the thought of losing him. i was in love with this guy. its been over 2 years now... i dont care for him as much, but everytime i hear someone talk about him or i see him.. my heart breaks all over again.. how do i get him off my mind. parts of me want to be back in his arms and feel his kisses again. how do i get away from him for good?
from, D


Dear D,
Wow, it sounds like you’ve been through a lot with this guy. I’m sort of surprised that you’d even want to go back there. I mean I can understand “caring” about a guy who’s messed up and praying for him and stuff, but why would you want to be back in a relationship with him? I suggest that you come before God ASAP and that you imagine yourself handing this guy over to God—for good. Tell God that you care about this guy, but that you realize he’s wrong for you and make a promise to God that you will not get involved with him again. Then ask God to watch out for this guy and help him to straighten up.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Forgiveness

Dear Caitlin,
I need help forgiving someone who hurt me.
from, B

Dear B,
I think the cool thing is that you realize you need help. God’s the only one who can help us to actually forgive others. Take your pain to God and ask him to guide you through the process. Then remember that forgiveness isn’t always a “one-time” thing. Sometimes it’s a series of steps. But you have to be willing to take that first step. And if you still need help, consider talking to a youth pastor or trusted Christian friend.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Torn between friends

Dear Caitlin,
i have 2 groups of friends. i have christian ones from my youth group and non- christian ones from when i was in high school. (i just finished i'm only 17) i usually hang around my non-christian friends on weekends. but every time i hang out with them when i get home i feel so wordly and haning out with makes me want to be like them . i'm starting to think that drinking isn't that bad and wanting to go to parties and try pot but i know that it's wrong. my christian friends say i should limit my time i spend with them to one time a month. but my i love my other friends too! mostly my best friend thats a non-christian. i don't know what to do because i enjoy spending time with them and it would also hurt them if i stopped. what should i do?
from, B.L

Dear B.L.,
That’s a tough one. First of all I think it’s important to hang with non-Christian friends—but only as long as you’re the one who’s doing the influencing. When you start becoming like them (and compromising your real values) it’s time to move on or at least limit the time you’re with them. Is it possible to invite them to hang with you and some of your Christian friends too? Also, you might ask yourself WHY you enjoy hanging with the non-Christian friends. I mean if they’re really into drinking and pot, what’s the point? Ask God to lead you through this, then be sincere (like you were in this letter) and follow his leading.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Friend has changed

Dear Caitlin,i started going to high school a year early after skipping the eighth grade. i was supposed to go to this new school with my b/f at the time but decided i wanted to high tail it out of school and get on to college instead. the thing is i haven't seen my friend since i started going to high school and she started hanging out with this satanist and saying that she didn't need god anymore and becoming a satanist herself. My friend and i had both been commited christians (we both were brought up in the church and decided to accept God's forgivness and live for him at an early age).i cried when i had heard about what she had been up to lately from one of our other best friends, who was worried about her and asked me to talk to her, since we had been closer then they had. i really want to help her but i don't know what to say since i haven't seen her in a while (since we also go different churches)(she still goes to church cause her mom makes her)What should i say ? any ideas?
from, b

Dear B,
The first thing I would do is to ask this friend if it’s really true that she’s become a Satanist and if so, why? It’s possible that she’s not so much into Satan as she might be into going through a rebellion against her family and church. If you can get to the bottom of it, you might be able to help her. But you have to be willing to listen (without coming across as judgmental) and then you need to let her know that you still love and care about her (as does God). And, of course, don’t forget to pray about this before you talk to her.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Friends

Dear Caitlin,
I dont have any friends and im sixteen years old what should I do?
from, B

Dear B,
No friends is a drag. I guess I’m curious as to why. Have you had a friend in the past? And, if so, why isn’t she your friend now? I think the best way to get a good friend is to be a good friend. Ask God to show you what you need to do to change, then ask him to help you to see some girl who’s in your life and in need of a friend, then take a risk and get to know her. The worst that can happen is that she won’t be interested, but at least you’ve stepped out. Then just do it again. Good luck!
Blessings,
Caitlin

Monday, March 23, 2009

Getting over a crush

Dear Caitlin,
I Just Got over this huge crush and I feel amazing, I woke up one morning and it was just gone(well not that quick but you get the picture) Any Ways this Is Just A Shout Out to All The Girls With Crushes... Get rid off them , It takes time but It feels really good when its over...I think I was all sad most the time, Its like a dark cloud has lifted and sunshine is pouring in to my life.
TAke care
from, SL

Dear SL,
Woo-Hoo! That is such great news. I really believe that crushes just eventually crush the life out of you. Shaking them off is the best thing you can do. Then give that passionate love to the One who made you and enjoy your life!!!
Blessings,
Caitlin

Friday, March 20, 2009

Pregnant friend

Dear Caitlin,
My best friend is Pregnant. She has asked me what I think she should do. My other best friend is the other participant in this situation. They both have different veiws and they keep looking to me for advice. I give it to them as best a s possible but, I don't know how I can keep dealing with this. I don't want them to feel like I am siding with one or the other cause I care about them both. I think the main problem in this is that I secretly do side with one over the other. You see my friend that is Pregnant wants to keep the baby no matter what but, my friend that is going to be the father wants to put it up for adoption. If you could please give me some guidance on this I would really appreciate it. I have been praying to god alot but I think it might help if I get help from more than one source. Thank you.
from, C O

Dear C O,
Wow, you’re in a tough spot. It’s good that you’re asking God for direction, but you need to encourage your friends to do this for themselves. Has your friend really considered what keeping her baby will be like? Maybe you can help her to really think about what it means to raise a child. It’s a 24/7 job that leaves little time for anything else. Is she really ready to do that? Only the parents of this child can decide what’s best for themselves and, unfortunately, they may never agree on it. I think the best thing for you to do is to continue being a loving and supporting friend, but don’t let them pressure you into taking sides. And keep praying.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Sleep

Dear Caitlin,
If you really don't sleep well but you don't know how to improve your sleeping. Is it bad to want to take so me benadryl just to sleep throughout the nite. I asked my mom if it was ok if she gave
me some just so i would be able to sleep and now she thinks i am a drug addit but i'm not i just want to sleep a whole nite without having to wake up 400 times a nite
any help you give is greatly appreciated
thanks a bunch
from, really sleepy

Dear RS,
Not sleeping is a bummer. But you might want to try to figure out WHY you’re not sleeping. Ask the regular stuff like are you having any caffeine products (coke, chocolate, coffee) that might be keeping you awake? Also consider establishing bedtime habits that get you relaxed before bed (like no crazy TV or activities that get you going) also getting to bed at about the same time every night helps. And then if you still wake up you might try praying for everyone you know, this usually puts me to sleep about halfway through. But if you still can’t sleep you might need to see a doctor. It’s possible you’re having a chemical imbalance. I don’t think an occasional nonprescription sleep aid is bad, but you just don’t want to get dependent on it because eventually they won’t work anymore and then you’re even more stuck. Good luck.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Dating an older boy

Dear Caitlin,
I've read what you've said about a 14 year old going out with an 18 yr old but i just can't help it. It's kind of different this time (some of my friends my say I'm boy crazy, need cure!) because he liked me first. Plus, he said I'm beautiful (not the usual) and funny. I don't look 14, he thought I was a senior at first. I made a "no-dating" commitment not long ago, but it just didn't seem right for me because I didn't have a boyfriend or anything. I went to homecoming with a senior (I'm a freshman) and now this senior likes me. But I don't know what to do, and I'm not sure if I really like him, but I think I do. He's really sweet, and not the guy I would usually like. If I were to go out with him and anyone found out, it would ruin my reputation, but I don't care about that cause he makes me laugh like no one has made me laugh before and I'm just happy around him. I need to find an answer to what to do in this situation and a cure for boy craziness.
from, I K

Dear I K,
About midway through your letter you say, “I’m not sure if I really like him…” and I’m wondering what’s up with that? If you’re not sure, why are you considering going out with him. You also mention your “reputation” and that’s another flag. I say when in doubt, don’t. My cure for “boy craziness” is to go out with groups of friends instead of just one guy. And you may not realize it, but some guys will say things like “you’re beautiful and funny” just to make you believe that they’re really into you when they are mostly into having a good time—and then it’s see ya later. Only you can protect your heart. I hope that you do.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Pity party

Dear Caitlin, one of my best friends is always putting herself down and is talking bad bout her parents. i always try to be positive and i really wanna talk to her more bout it but i dont know how to bring it up without her getting mad or not listening cuz i really luv her and wanna help her. shes so dear to me and i hate to see her go down like this........HELP!
from, c........

Dear c..........,
Have you heard the verse “weep with those who weep and laugh with those who laugh”? Sometimes our friends need us to listen to them and to show empathy for their pain. But I do understand that you don’t want to just get stuck in some big pity party. Why not try to really listen to what’s bugging her, show her that you really do understand how she feels, and then try to help her to move on. And, of course, pray that God will lead you.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Being a Christian is hard

My question for Caitlin is: Dear Caitlin,Why is it when you become a teenager everything you have worked for as to be a strong Christian gets harder?
from, N

Dear N,
I think lots of things get harder when you become a teenager. There are so many choice, so many influences, sometimes it’s hard to know what to do. So that’s why I think you REALLY need God more than ever now. And the cool thing is if you learn to lean on him now, and you learn to spend time with him and obey him, then you will probably keep doing it for the rest of your life. So hang in there and ask God to help you get through it all as well as to really enjoy being a teen.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Monday, March 16, 2009

I met a guy

Dear Caitlin,
umm.. are u really a real person? or is domeone just using your character to do this? Anyway whoever this is that i am talking to , here's whats troubling me...
I went to Sydney last holidays and i met this guy called eddy. We had so much fun together and i really miss him. I don't feel like i'm exactly in love with him, just really attracted. I would love to get to know him better. well we kept in touch, but now we're kind of drifting apart (he says his busy with exams) I don't want to be the annoying girl, chasing after him. But i feel such a longing just to hear from him. I don't know what to do. It seems like its kind of healing now though, i think i was kind of heart broken to leave him. i'm going bak to Sydney in the Christmas holidays (don't worry its not to see him) I guess i'll just see what happens then. I've made a promise to myself not to make a move first (i mean send him a message or call him) I need him to do that if this is going to be anything. THis must seem very confusing and whoever u are, can just delete this. I just wanted to let it all out. Thanks...
from, d

Dear d,
I am a real person…I guess the question is am I Caitlin or the one who writes her stories. I’ll let you decide. It sounds like you’ve made a wise choice to move on from this guy. And you’re smart to realize that if he hasn’t called or emailed you, it’s probably because he’s not really into you. It’s hard to accept that sometimes, but the sooner you do, the sooner you can move on and enjoy all the other good stuff in your life. So have fun in Sydney, and put this guy out of your mind.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Need friends

Dear Caitlin- Hi, i'm 13 and having a hard time with my life right now. I don't really have too many friends. And i'm lonely alot. I got to church with my family, and i go to youth group. And i LOVE IT! But i'm just so shy, and it's hard for me to go up to people, so therefore i don't really have friends. My two best friends just moved away this year (they aren't sisters or anything, they just happened to move the same year) Well, can you give me some advice that could help me out in this? Thanks
God Bless You
from, T

Dear T,
Maybe you’ve heard me say that to have a good friend you need to be a good friend. And that means stepping out of your comfort zone to reach out to someone else. Ask God to show you another girl who’s in need of a friend, and ask him to help you to take a risk by talking to her. And if it doesn’t work, don’t give up, keep on trying until you really connect with someone. And, trust me, you won’t be sorry once you have a good friend to hang with.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Friday, March 13, 2009

Thoughts of suicide

Dear Caitlin,
please i am having problems with my life i am considering suicide and know its wrong ,but it seems the only option right now in my lfie no matter what anyone says it doesn't seem right anymore
from, TH

Dear TH,
I hope things are looking better for you now. Like I’ve said before, suicide is not a way to escape—because you really don’t know what will happen after you take your life. I mean you might be even more miserable than you were before, especially if you realize how many people you’ve left in pain after taking your own life. Suicide is never the “only option.” That’s a lie that Satan would like you to believe so that you’ll give up. God doesn’t want you to give up, he just wants you to put your trust in him—to believe that he can change things and make your life better. You might want to read Pitch Black (a TrueColors book about suicide). Just remember you can’t change your mind once you’ve taken your life. That’s it. No re-dos. And what if you were wrong?
Blessings,
Caitlin

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Dating

Dear Caitlin, how do you jsut give up dating? I have never had a boyfriend, well once but it was puppy love, and want one. I do understand that god knew that was best when you made your commitment. But I just seem to be longing for love...
from, Longing for Love

Dear LoL,
I think we all long for love. And part of that has to do with the fact that one day you will meet Mr. Right and you will want to make a lifetime commitment to marry. In the meantime you need to 1) focus your longing for love onto God and let him love you the way that he longs to, and 2) you need to ask God what’s right for you in regard to dating. Only your loving heavenly Father can tell you what’s really best for you.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Not feeling close to God

Dear Caitlin,
i don't feel as close to god as i used to. i still go to church, and am a great person, but when i go to church, i don't feel as close or as welcome is before.but i still love to go to church. i am very busy and don't have as much time for him. but i don't like feeling far from him and not as close. is this normal?
from, s

Dear s,
There’s an old quote, “If you’re not feeling close to God, who moved?” The thing is God is still there for you. He’s waiting for you to spend time with him, to share your heart with him, to ask him for direction…. But for some reason you’re choosing not to. I guess you’ll have to ask yourself why? Why have you moved away from God and are you happy with the way things are going? And if you don’t like it, then just turn around and go back. God is always there, ready to welcome you with open arms.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Monday, March 9, 2009

Prayer

Dear Caitlin. When I pray I don't really feel as if I mean my prayers from the bottom of my heart. I've prayed to God to help me with this situation but do you think I'm maybe not praying correctly or need to do something differently? Thanks for your help-
from, k....

Dear k....,
I think a lot of us second-guess our prayers sometimes. I’ve learned that the best thing is to just keep pressing on. Also, I try not to “listen” to myself so much when I’m praying, but to try to tune in more to God. The main thing is just don’t stop.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Crush on a boy

Dear Caitlin, my name is p...... and i am having a hard time getting a boyfriend. my crush knows that i like him, and i have a feeling he likes me. how do i handle my situation?
from, crushed

Dear crushed,
If I were you I’d take my “situation” straight to God. Ask him whether or not it’s right for you to get into a relationship with this guy. And if it’s right and if this guy is into you, I’m sure it’ll all work out. And if not, you’ll just have to live up to your name and wait for the right guy and the right timing.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Friday, March 6, 2009

TrueColors

Dear Caitlin, Hi i have recently discovered your true color series. And i think that they are very good. In fact my good friend Caitlin, introduced me to them. I like them alot because they inspire me in a weird way in the way being pressured into sex and drugs etc. i have been there and its cool to read books that in a way have been there too.
from, nm

Dear nm ,
I’m glad you like TrueColors—they are a little more intense than Diary, but they seem to be connecting with a lot of readers. Thanks for writing!
Blessings,
Caitlin

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Non-Christian family

Dear Caitlin,
What do I do about a family who believes differently than I do? Who think everythings OK between them and God and just don't care?
from, BD

Dear BD,
I’m guessing you mean your family. I think the biggest thing you can do for them (besides praying which I assume you already do) is to ask God to let his love shine through you toward them. One of the most life-changing things I’ve seen is when Christians love others UNCONDITIONALLY and with grace. Just remember you can’t do this alone—ask God to love through you and in time things will probably start changing.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Dear Caitlin,
what's up!i have a question,u c 1 of my bf's is a guy and just recently told me he liked this girl .well i felt weird after he told me and i figured it out that i like him and i was jelous.well i ended up telling him and he said "no way i like u 2; so i was like well r we going out know and he said "well thats a prob. u c i asked Hannah out already.so i was like what the heck!so we started just hiding it 4 a while and that didn't work out 2 well.some 1 found out we liked each othr and told Hannah!so he thought i told the person and i said "no i didn't" well he said he believed me but he has'nt talked me since! so i don't know what 2 do that was about a 3 wks. ago ,and he hasn't said a word 2 me!so what do i do i don't want 2 lose a friend ,but i also don't want 2 admit i did it b/c i didn't.also what do i do about my feelings toward him,b/c i still like him ,but look were that got us last time!!THANX SO MUCH PLEASE WRITE BACK!I NEED HELP!
from, D

Dear D,
I’m guessing you’re over this guy by now. And it sounds like you realize it wasn’t such a smart move on your part. So hopefully you’ve moved on and learned that when a guy is dating two girls at the same time, something is wrong. So don’t get suckered into something like that again, okay?
Blessings,
Caitlin

Monday, March 2, 2009

Non dating vow

Dear Caitlin, how did you do the whole non dating thing, i made the same vow as you but it is so unbelivably hard, when a guy likes me i read aways like him back anbd have im-pure thoughts...please help to find god is trying to sya to me
from, L

Dear L,
Hey, I never said it was easy not to date. But having gone through it and made it to the other side, I can say with all confidence that it was the best way for me. And I’ve seen way too many girls getting crushed by crushes or destroyed by dating. The “success stories” in dating are way too few. But I’m always open to hearing the good ones. Still, have you noticed that very few show up in this column? Anyway, it’s between you and God whether or not you date. And it’s good to remember that “easy” isn’t always best.
Blessings,
Caitlin