Ask Caitlin

Religion vs. Relationship with God

2009-06-05T12:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
Is it more important to understand religion and follow all the rules and guidelines, or is it more important to have a strong personal relationship with god?
from, MKB

Dear MKB,
IMO it’s more important to have a strong personal relationship with God. But that doesn’t make us free from all the rules and guidelines. But when we want to love and serve God, we find out that he has his own set of rules designed uniquely for us, and that are really for our own best interest.
Blessings!
Caitlin

Mad diary keeping

2009-05-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
How are you able to keep a diary?
from, Jen

Dear Jen,
Like I’ve said before, a diary doesn’t have to be a daily thing. Most people have a hard time writing every day. It gets to be a drag. But if you let your diary be this place where you can express yourself—when you need to—it’s really pretty fun. And you don’t have to write only about what’s happening in your life. You can write poems or stories or make wish lists or write Bible verses or prayers or whatever. Your diary is for you and you alone, how you use it is up to you.
Blessings!
Caitlin

That dating thing

2009-05-22T09:55:00.000-07:00

i have been really encouraged by your books and the whole not dating thing(i think i will wait till i and out of high school, but i am not really counting the days ) and i was just woundering if things gets harder as time goes on ? for me i has i feel that god pushing great guys into my life right now and am having a hard time keeping to my post. do you have any question i can ask my self that will narrow down wheater a guy is "great"? or any tips that will help me ? oh i also wanted to know how you knew jeremy had fellings for chloe? hey could you tell that josh still had fellings for you after you rejected his request the first time ? i haven't heard much about jenny since your 4th book how is she doing now? i fell bad for anna and joel when i read about there crumbling marriage.how is your brother doing? well i love reading your book and can't wait for more. keep folowing god and showing him through your books !

from, b

Dear b,
The guy and dating thing is complicated. All I can say is that it’s just a daily thing between you and God. And like so many things, you never know what’s around the next corner, but you’re always in good shape if you’re obeying your loving father. He only wants to bring good things into your life. Including the right guy—at the right time. Just trust him!
Blessings!
Caitlin

Long distance 'relationship'

2009-05-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
hi, i recently spent the summer in ------ and i saw this guy who i haven't seen in forever and i really miss him we're not really close because he had a girlfriend while i was out there so i have just sorta been his friend but he is so great and i just wanted to know how to you know like help myself from thinking about him i mean i never will completly just i need tips on how to deal with the pain of a long distance relationship even though we aren't in one to me it just feels that way.
from, EE

Dear EE,
I think most girls can fall in love with the idea of being in love. It’s just the way God made us. Of course, he wants us to wait and fall in love with the right guy at the right time—and that’s the least painful way to go. But sometimes we can’t seem to help ourselves, we fall head over heels, and that’s when we usually get to learn our lessons the hard way. But, hey, it’s better to love and get hurt and learn than to never learn at all. At least you’re smarter. The most important thing to remember is that God has a fantastic plan for your life, but if you’re always running ahead and trying to put it together for yourself, you’ll never experience God’s best for your life. So why not just trust him and be willing to wait for all the good that’s in store for you?
Blessings!
Caitlin

Finding a mate

2009-05-01T11:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin, Do you think we should just wait for God to give us our mate or should we try and find them first???
from, D

Dear D,

The problem with “trying to find them first” is that we might find the wrong one. And how would we know? Not only that, our timing isn’t perfect, like God’s. If you know me (and have read my books) you’ll know I believe we’re always in good shape when we wait on God. Oh, sure, it’s not always easy, but the best things in life usually aren’t easy.

Blessings!

Caitlin

Staying pure

2009-04-24T13:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
i have had sex before and i asked god to forgive me but i have a new boyfriend who understands my situation and really cares about me. he says hes willing to wait with me but when we are together it is really hard to wait when were together. can you help me stay true to gad?
from, H

Dear H,
You say “it is really hard to wait when were together” which may be your clue. I guess I have to wonder what you’re doing when you’re together. I mean if you’re all by yourselves, and kissing and stuff, well, sure it’s going to be hard to wait. It’s like if you’re on a diet and you spend all your time at McDonald’s it might be hard to lose weight. If you and this guy want to continue your relationship, I suggest you do things with groups of people. Avoid those times and places that tempt you. And, of course, pray about it. Ask God to lead you.
Blessings!
Caitlin

Can I be a model and be a Christian?

2009-04-17T11:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin, I'm tall (about 5'11) and sorta slim and people always tell me that I should be a model. I think it would be fun except I dont want to end up doing like nude photos and stuff becuase thats just gross. How do I start modeling and after that how do I represent Christ in the industry?
from, M

Dear M,
I really don’t know much about modeling, but I think it’d be cool to have more Christians involved in this industry, and the fashion industry too. Just because we’re Christians doesn’t mean we have to live under a rock. Listen to God and see if he’s leading you into this—I mean I wouldn’t go there otherwise. And if you feel that’s his direction, look into what’s available locally. But make sure you go with a good agency with a good reputation. And make sure you have a responsible adult (like a parent) look into this with you. There are lots of jerks out there and you don’t want to get pulled into something that will hurt you.
Blessings!
Caitlin

living like a Christian

2009-04-10T15:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin, hi my friends aren't exactly what you call total christain like. i mean they go to church and stuff but i mean there is so much hard stuff. but see i try so hard to change it. i'm a girl though not your real girly type i'm pretty strong. see most of my friends i hang with these days are guys. i just need some help on them getting to know God more. so what should i do?
from, K.A.

Dear KA,
I think it’s cool you’re hanging with friends that aren’t “total Christian like” as long as they’re not influencing you to compromise your walk with God. And I think it’s cool you want to help them to know God more. The best way is by just being yourself, letting them see what you believe put into action. Like by loving people unconditionally, or forgiving someone who hurts you, or just being kind to someone who doesn’t deserve it, or reaching out to someone who’s life isn’t going too well. People notice stuff like that. And that old saying “actions speak louder than words” is still true. Instead of telling everyone about God, we all need to learn how to show him.
Blessings!
Caitlin

I don't know what to do

2009-04-09T15:25:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
i am being torn from two people ilove a lot in my life . My mom wants me to live with her, and my dad wants me to stay with him. either way i lose somebody. whar should i do?
from, kjm

Dear kjm,
That is such a tough place to be. But I have a feeling that you know in your heart where you should be. If you don’t, take some quiet time to just listen to your heart and to ask God to show you. I’m sure he will. And once you know, you can tell the other parent that it’s not that you don’t love him or her, but that you need to live in the place that’s best for you right now. But let that other parent know that you plan to stay in touch and still want to spend time with him or her. And most of all, know that your parents’ split is not your fault—and that you can’t fix it. Mostly you need to take care of yourself and keep your heart tuned in to God. Hang in there!
Blessings,
Caitlin

Going to a new school

2009-04-03T12:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
I'm going to a new school this year (I'm in 8th grade ) and I'm wondering if you have any ideas on how i can share God's love with people in an interesting or easy way, or just any way at all.
Thanx a bunch!
from, L M T.

Dear L>M>T>
That’s a great question. And I know it’s different for everyone. First I think you should make a commitment to ask God, daily, to lead you through your day and the people you come in contact with. Then ask God to just shine through you as you try to live your life for him. I’m guessing that certain people (like ones who are searching) will notice and wonder what it is that makes you stand out. Then you get to be honest and tell them. Just don’t try to tell them everything at once. And trust that it’s God who’s really at work, not you. We’re just tools in God’s hands. The important thing is being available!
Blessings!
Caitlin

Struggling with doubts

2009-04-02T12:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
I am struggling with doubt in God and that affects everything else in my life to, what should I do with my doubt? By the way I love your books and I have read the whole serise at least 4 times Please write more
from, N Z

Dear N Z
I think everyone doubts sometimes. I know I do. But what I remind myself of is the way God has always been there for me in the past. I remember the times when he’s felt most real to me and ask myself what has changed? Me or God? It’s always me. God never changes. His love for you never stops. But if you turn your back or close your ears, you don’t experience it—then you begin to doubt. The problem with doubt is that once you give into it, it’s hard to get out of it. Jesus said our faith can be as small as a mustard seed, but if we trust in it, and allow it to grow, it will sustain us through everything.
Blessings!
Caitlin

I've got a crush on a boy

2009-04-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
i've kinda had a crush on this guy for a while. he's a really strong christian and i've known him for almost my whole life. the thing is, i know i'm too young to even conisder dating but what's a girl to do? i don't want to have a crush and life was so much easier when i didn't have a crush. what can i do to get rid of these feelings? do you have an idea?
from, T

Dear T,
I know what you mean. Like once you get a crush it seems like there’s no getting rid of it. My only suggestion is that you use this crush as a reminder to you that God wants you to love him with that kind of passion and commitment. God wants to be your main crush. He wants you to be so focused on him that you find yourself thinking about him throughout the day. As a result, your crush on this guy will become a lot more manageable. And you won’t get hurt so badly in the end. Because the sad truth is that most girls do get hurt when they get a “crush” on a guy. Their hearts usually get crunched. Guess that’s why we call it a crush.
Blessings!
Caitlin

God's plan for love

2009-03-31T10:51:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
I'm in LOVE...now don't tell me it's just a crush(I have had those B4 and this is nothing like it)...he is great in every way and a good strong christian...need I say more(I'm trying not to make to much of this)...Now I just want to be friends for now but I am worried that he found someone else to fill my place...she is really nice and sweet ,but she is not for him...maybe I'm just envious...I Love him as a brother/friend/and more...but to save my heart I want to wait till I'm older...I want him to wait for me too...now my QUESTION IS : Dose God have a plan for who we should marry? ~`~S O I~`~

Dear S O I,
Okay, I’m not going to tell you it’s just a crush. And it sounds like it’s not. Even so, that doesn’t guaranty that this guy is the ONE that God has chosen for you. The good news is that it sounds like you are getting better at picking out good guys. And it’s possible that this is God’s training ground for you to be able to recognize the “real thing” when it comes along. The bad news is that this guy might really be into this other girl, and that’s going to hurt you. But even if that’s the case, you should feel encouraged to know that God has someone even better for you. And if this guy’s not into this other girl, then you’ll just have to wait and see what comes next. Mostly you need to trust that God knows what’s best for you.
Blessings,
Caitlin

My friend is getting married to the wrong guy

2009-03-30T09:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,my second cosin and me are good friends(she is about 10 years older than I)and she is thinking of marring this guy he is alright and christian But I feel in my heart she can do better. Should I tell her? she really likes him. I just not what to spoil her dreams
from, O D,

Dear O D,
Ooh, that’s tough. My first instinct is that you shouldn’t tell her. Not unless she asks you. But I suppose if you’ve prayed about it, and honestly sense that God is telling you to warn her…well, I would still proceed with caution. I’ve learned that if someone isn’t asking for advice, they usually don’t want it, and they may resent it and you when they get it. The most important thing may be for you to continue being her friend. And, who knows, maybe she’ll ask.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Getting rid of those old feelings

2009-03-27T14:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
well im not sure where to start.. well i guess im 15. 2 years ago i met this guy. he is not a good guy at all. he did all kinds of drugs and just played girls. i liked him for a year before we started going out. he broke my heart. i neverstopped caring for him. i would cry myself to sleep every night because id be afraid that he would O.D. with drugs and die.. i couldn't bear the thought of losing him. i was in love with this guy. its been over 2 years now... i dont care for him as much, but everytime i hear someone talk about him or i see him.. my heart breaks all over again.. how do i get him off my mind. parts of me want to be back in his arms and feel his kisses again. how do i get away from him for good?
from, D

Dear D,
Wow, it sounds like you’ve been through a lot with this guy. I’m sort of surprised that you’d even want to go back there. I mean I can understand “caring” about a guy who’s messed up and praying for him and stuff, but why would you want to be back in a relationship with him? I suggest that you come before God ASAP and that you imagine yourself handing this guy over to God—for good. Tell God that you care about this guy, but that you realize he’s wrong for you and make a promise to God that you will not get involved with him again. Then ask God to watch out for this guy and help him to straighten up.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Forgiveness

2009-03-26T14:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
I need help forgiving someone who hurt me.
from, B

Dear B,
I think the cool thing is that you realize you need help. God’s the only one who can help us to actually forgive others. Take your pain to God and ask him to guide you through the process. Then remember that forgiveness isn’t always a “one-time” thing. Sometimes it’s a series of steps. But you have to be willing to take that first step. And if you still need help, consider talking to a youth pastor or trusted Christian friend.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Torn between friends

2009-03-25T09:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
i have 2 groups of friends. i have christian ones from my youth group and non- christian ones from when i was in high school. (i just finished i'm only 17) i usually hang around my non-christian friends on weekends. but every time i hang out with them when i get home i feel so wordly and haning out with makes me want to be like them . i'm starting to think that drinking isn't that bad and wanting to go to parties and try pot but i know that it's wrong. my christian friends say i should limit my time i spend with them to one time a month. but my i love my other friends too! mostly my best friend thats a non-christian. i don't know what to do because i enjoy spending time with them and it would also hurt them if i stopped. what should i do?
from, B.L

Dear B.L.,
That’s a tough one. First of all I think it’s important to hang with non-Christian friends—but only as long as you’re the one who’s doing the influencing. When you start becoming like them (and compromising your real values) it’s time to move on or at least limit the time you’re with them. Is it possible to invite them to hang with you and some of your Christian friends too? Also, you might ask yourself WHY you enjoy hanging with the non-Christian friends. I mean if they’re really into drinking and pot, what’s the point? Ask God to lead you through this, then be sincere (like you were in this letter) and follow his leading.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Friend has changed

2009-03-25T09:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,i started going to high school a year early after skipping the eighth grade. i was supposed to go to this new school with my b/f at the time but decided i wanted to high tail it out of school and get on to college instead. the thing is i haven't seen my friend since i started going to high school and she started hanging out with this satanist and saying that she didn't need god anymore and becoming a satanist herself. My friend and i had both been commited christians (we both were brought up in the church and decided to accept God's forgivness and live for him at an early age).i cried when i had heard about what she had been up to lately from one of our other best friends, who was worried about her and asked me to talk to her, since we had been closer then they had. i really want to help her but i don't know what to say since i haven't seen her in a while (since we also go different churches)(she still goes to church cause her mom makes her)What should i say ? any ideas?
from, b

Dear B,
The first thing I would do is to ask this friend if it’s really true that she’s become a Satanist and if so, why? It’s possible that she’s not so much into Satan as she might be into going through a rebellion against her family and church. If you can get to the bottom of it, you might be able to help her. But you have to be willing to listen (without coming across as judgmental) and then you need to let her know that you still love and care about her (as does God). And, of course, don’t forget to pray about this before you talk to her.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Friends

2009-03-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
I dont have any friends and im sixteen years old what should I do?
from, B

Dear B,
No friends is a drag. I guess I’m curious as to why. Have you had a friend in the past? And, if so, why isn’t she your friend now? I think the best way to get a good friend is to be a good friend. Ask God to show you what you need to do to change, then ask him to help you to see some girl who’s in your life and in need of a friend, then take a risk and get to know her. The worst that can happen is that she won’t be interested, but at least you’ve stepped out. Then just do it again. Good luck!
Blessings,
Caitlin

Getting over a crush

2009-03-23T14:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
I Just Got over this huge crush and I feel amazing, I woke up one morning and it was just gone(well not that quick but you get the picture) Any Ways this Is Just A Shout Out to All The Girls With Crushes... Get rid off them , It takes time but It feels really good when its over...I think I was all sad most the time, Its like a dark cloud has lifted and sunshine is pouring in to my life.
TAke care
from, SL

Dear SL,
Woo-Hoo! That is such great news. I really believe that crushes just eventually crush the life out of you. Shaking them off is the best thing you can do. Then give that passionate love to the One who made you and enjoy your life!!!
Blessings,
Caitlin

Pregnant friend

2009-03-20T09:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
My best friend is Pregnant. She has asked me what I think she should do. My other best friend is the other participant in this situation. They both have different veiws and they keep looking to me for advice. I give it to them as best a s possible but, I don't know how I can keep dealing with this. I don't want them to feel like I am siding with one or the other cause I care about them both. I think the main problem in this is that I secretly do side with one over the other. You see my friend that is Pregnant wants to keep the baby no matter what but, my friend that is going to be the father wants to put it up for adoption. If you could please give me some guidance on this I would really appreciate it. I have been praying to god alot but I think it might help if I get help from more than one source. Thank you.
from, C O

Dear C O,
Wow, you’re in a tough spot. It’s good that you’re asking God for direction, but you need to encourage your friends to do this for themselves. Has your friend really considered what keeping her baby will be like? Maybe you can help her to really think about what it means to raise a child. It’s a 24/7 job that leaves little time for anything else. Is she really ready to do that? Only the parents of this child can decide what’s best for themselves and, unfortunately, they may never agree on it. I think the best thing for you to do is to continue being a loving and supporting friend, but don’t let them pressure you into taking sides. And keep praying.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Sleep

2009-03-19T09:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
If you really don't sleep well but you don't know how to improve your sleeping. Is it bad to want to take so me benadryl just to sleep throughout the nite. I asked my mom if it was ok if she gave
me some just so i would be able to sleep and now she thinks i am a drug addit but i'm not i just want to sleep a whole nite without having to wake up 400 times a nite
any help you give is greatly appreciated
thanks a bunch
from, really sleepy

Dear RS,
Not sleeping is a bummer. But you might want to try to figure out WHY you’re not sleeping. Ask the regular stuff like are you having any caffeine products (coke, chocolate, coffee) that might be keeping you awake? Also consider establishing bedtime habits that get you relaxed before bed (like no crazy TV or activities that get you going) also getting to bed at about the same time every night helps. And then if you still wake up you might try praying for everyone you know, this usually puts me to sleep about halfway through. But if you still can’t sleep you might need to see a doctor. It’s possible you’re having a chemical imbalance. I don’t think an occasional nonprescription sleep aid is bad, but you just don’t want to get dependent on it because eventually they won’t work anymore and then you’re even more stuck. Good luck.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Dating an older boy

2009-03-18T09:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
I've read what you've said about a 14 year old going out with an 18 yr old but i just can't help it. It's kind of different this time (some of my friends my say I'm boy crazy, need cure!) because he liked me first. Plus, he said I'm beautiful (not the usual) and funny. I don't look 14, he thought I was a senior at first. I made a "no-dating" commitment not long ago, but it just didn't seem right for me because I didn't have a boyfriend or anything. I went to homecoming with a senior (I'm a freshman) and now this senior likes me. But I don't know what to do, and I'm not sure if I really like him, but I think I do. He's really sweet, and not the guy I would usually like. If I were to go out with him and anyone found out, it would ruin my reputation, but I don't care about that cause he makes me laugh like no one has made me laugh before and I'm just happy around him. I need to find an answer to what to do in this situation and a cure for boy craziness.
from, I K

Dear I K,
About midway through your letter you say, “I’m not sure if I really like him…” and I’m wondering what’s up with that? If you’re not sure, why are you considering going out with him. You also mention your “reputation” and that’s another flag. I say when in doubt, don’t. My cure for “boy craziness” is to go out with groups of friends instead of just one guy. And you may not realize it, but some guys will say things like “you’re beautiful and funny” just to make you believe that they’re really into you when they are mostly into having a good time—and then it’s see ya later. Only you can protect your heart. I hope that you do.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Pity party

2009-03-17T09:21:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin, one of my best friends is always putting herself down and is talking bad bout her parents. i always try to be positive and i really wanna talk to her more bout it but i dont know how to bring it up without her getting mad or not listening cuz i really luv her and wanna help her. shes so dear to me and i hate to see her go down like this........HELP!
from, c........

Dear c..........,
Have you heard the verse “weep with those who weep and laugh with those who laugh”? Sometimes our friends need us to listen to them and to show empathy for their pain. But I do understand that you don’t want to just get stuck in some big pity party. Why not try to really listen to what’s bugging her, show her that you really do understand how she feels, and then try to help her to move on. And, of course, pray that God will lead you.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Being a Christian is hard

2009-03-17T09:19:00.000-07:00

My question for Caitlin is: Dear Caitlin,Why is it when you become a teenager everything you have worked for as to be a strong Christian gets harder?
from, N

Dear N,
I think lots of things get harder when you become a teenager. There are so many choice, so many influences, sometimes it’s hard to know what to do. So that’s why I think you REALLY need God more than ever now. And the cool thing is if you learn to lean on him now, and you learn to spend time with him and obey him, then you will probably keep doing it for the rest of your life. So hang in there and ask God to help you get through it all as well as to really enjoy being a teen.
Blessings,
Caitlin

I met a guy

2009-03-16T09:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
umm.. are u really a real person? or is domeone just using your character to do this? Anyway whoever this is that i am talking to , here's whats troubling me...
I went to Sydney last holidays and i met this guy called eddy. We had so much fun together and i really miss him. I don't feel like i'm exactly in love with him, just really attracted. I would love to get to know him better. well we kept in touch, but now we're kind of drifting apart (he says his busy with exams) I don't want to be the annoying girl, chasing after him. But i feel such a longing just to hear from him. I don't know what to do. It seems like its kind of healing now though, i think i was kind of heart broken to leave him. i'm going bak to Sydney in the Christmas holidays (don't worry its not to see him) I guess i'll just see what happens then. I've made a promise to myself not to make a move first (i mean send him a message or call him) I need him to do that if this is going to be anything. THis must seem very confusing and whoever u are, can just delete this. I just wanted to let it all out. Thanks...
from, d

Dear d,
I am a real person…I guess the question is am I Caitlin or the one who writes her stories. I’ll let you decide. It sounds like you’ve made a wise choice to move on from this guy. And you’re smart to realize that if he hasn’t called or emailed you, it’s probably because he’s not really into you. It’s hard to accept that sometimes, but the sooner you do, the sooner you can move on and enjoy all the other good stuff in your life. So have fun in Sydney, and put this guy out of your mind.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Need friends

2009-03-16T09:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin- Hi, i'm 13 and having a hard time with my life right now. I don't really have too many friends. And i'm lonely alot. I got to church with my family, and i go to youth group. And i LOVE IT! But i'm just so shy, and it's hard for me to go up to people, so therefore i don't really have friends. My two best friends just moved away this year (they aren't sisters or anything, they just happened to move the same year) Well, can you give me some advice that could help me out in this? Thanks
God Bless You
from, T

Dear T,
Maybe you’ve heard me say that to have a good friend you need to be a good friend. And that means stepping out of your comfort zone to reach out to someone else. Ask God to show you another girl who’s in need of a friend, and ask him to help you to take a risk by talking to her. And if it doesn’t work, don’t give up, keep on trying until you really connect with someone. And, trust me, you won’t be sorry once you have a good friend to hang with.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Thoughts of suicide

2009-03-13T09:25:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
please i am having problems with my life i am considering suicide and know its wrong ,but it seems the only option right now in my lfie no matter what anyone says it doesn't seem right anymore
from, TH

Dear TH,
I hope things are looking better for you now. Like I’ve said before, suicide is not a way to escape—because you really don’t know what will happen after you take your life. I mean you might be even more miserable than you were before, especially if you realize how many people you’ve left in pain after taking your own life. Suicide is never the “only option.” That’s a lie that Satan would like you to believe so that you’ll give up. God doesn’t want you to give up, he just wants you to put your trust in him—to believe that he can change things and make your life better. You might want to read Pitch Black (a TrueColors book about suicide). Just remember you can’t change your mind once you’ve taken your life. That’s it. No re-dos. And what if you were wrong?
Blessings,
Caitlin

Dating

2009-03-12T09:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin, how do you jsut give up dating? I have never had a boyfriend, well once but it was puppy love, and want one. I do understand that god knew that was best when you made your commitment. But I just seem to be longing for love...
from, Longing for Love

Dear LoL,
I think we all long for love. And part of that has to do with the fact that one day you will meet Mr. Right and you will want to make a lifetime commitment to marry. In the meantime you need to 1) focus your longing for love onto God and let him love you the way that he longs to, and 2) you need to ask God what’s right for you in regard to dating. Only your loving heavenly Father can tell you what’s really best for you.
Blessings,
Caitlin

2009-03-11T10:41:00.000-07:00

Not feeling close to God

2009-03-10T09:27:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin,
i don't feel as close to god as i used to. i still go to church, and am a great person, but when i go to church, i don't feel as close or as welcome is before.but i still love to go to church. i am very busy and don't have as much time for him. but i don't like feeling far from him and not as close. is this normal?
from, s

Dear s,
There’s an old quote, “If you’re not feeling close to God, who moved?” The thing is God is still there for you. He’s waiting for you to spend time with him, to share your heart with him, to ask him for direction…. But for some reason you’re choosing not to. I guess you’ll have to ask yourself why? Why have you moved away from God and are you happy with the way things are going? And if you don’t like it, then just turn around and go back. God is always there, ready to welcome you with open arms.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Prayer

2009-03-09T09:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin. When I pray I don't really feel as if I mean my prayers from the bottom of my heart. I've prayed to God to help me with this situation but do you think I'm maybe not praying correctly or need to do something differently? Thanks for your help-
from, k....

Dear k....,
I think a lot of us second-guess our prayers sometimes. I’ve learned that the best thing is to just keep pressing on. Also, I try not to “listen” to myself so much when I’m praying, but to try to tune in more to God. The main thing is just don’t stop.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Crush on a boy

2009-03-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

Dear Caitlin, my name is p...... and i am having a hard time getting a boyfriend. my crush knows that i like him, and i have a feeling he likes me. how do i handle my situation?
from, crushed

Dear crushed,
If I were you I’d take my “situation” straight to God. Ask him whether or not it’s right for you to get into a relationship with this guy. And if it’s right and if this guy is into you, I’m sure it’ll all work out. And if not, you’ll just have to live up to your name and wait for the right guy and the right timing.
Blessings,
Caitlin

TrueColors

2009-03-06T14:13:00.000-08:00

Dear Caitlin, Hi i have recently discovered your true color series. And i think that they are very good. In fact my good friend Caitlin, introduced me to them. I like them alot because they inspire me in a weird way in the way being pressured into sex and drugs etc. i have been there and its cool to read books that in a way have been there too.
from, nm

Dear nm ,
I’m glad you like TrueColors—they are a little more intense than Diary, but they seem to be connecting with a lot of readers. Thanks for writing!
Blessings,
Caitlin

Non-Christian family

2009-03-05T14:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Caitlin,
What do I do about a family who believes differently than I do? Who think everythings OK between them and God and just don't care?
from, BD

Dear BD,
I’m guessing you mean your family. I think the biggest thing you can do for them (besides praying which I assume you already do) is to ask God to let his love shine through you toward them. One of the most life-changing things I’ve seen is when Christians love others UNCONDITIONALLY and with grace. Just remember you can’t do this alone—ask God to love through you and in time things will probably start changing.
Blessings,
Caitlin

2009-03-03T10:55:00.000-08:00

Dear Caitlin,
what's up!i have a question,u c 1 of my bf's is a guy and just recently told me he liked this girl .well i felt weird after he told me and i figured it out that i like him and i was jelous.well i ended up telling him and he said "no way i like u 2; so i was like well r we going out know and he said "well thats a prob. u c i asked Hannah out already.so i was like what the heck!so we started just hiding it 4 a while and that didn't work out 2 well.some 1 found out we liked each othr and told Hannah!so he thought i told the person and i said "no i didn't" well he said he believed me but he has'nt talked me since! so i don't know what 2 do that was about a 3 wks. ago ,and he hasn't said a word 2 me!so what do i do i don't want 2 lose a friend ,but i also don't want 2 admit i did it b/c i didn't.also what do i do about my feelings toward him,b/c i still like him ,but look were that got us last time!!THANX SO MUCH PLEASE WRITE BACK!I NEED HELP!
from, D

Dear D,
I’m guessing you’re over this guy by now. And it sounds like you realize it wasn’t such a smart move on your part. So hopefully you’ve moved on and learned that when a guy is dating two girls at the same time, something is wrong. So don’t get suckered into something like that again, okay?
Blessings,
Caitlin

Non dating vow

2009-03-02T10:54:00.000-08:00

Dear Caitlin, how did you do the whole non dating thing, i made the same vow as you but it is so unbelivably hard, when a guy likes me i read aways like him back anbd have im-pure thoughts...please help to find god is trying to sya to me
from, L

Dear L,
Hey, I never said it was easy not to date. But having gone through it and made it to the other side, I can say with all confidence that it was the best way for me. And I’ve seen way too many girls getting crushed by crushes or destroyed by dating. The “success stories” in dating are way too few. But I’m always open to hearing the good ones. Still, have you noticed that very few show up in this column? Anyway, it’s between you and God whether or not you date. And it’s good to remember that “easy” isn’t always best.
Blessings,
Caitlin

Mission trip fears

2009-02-26T11:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Caitlin,
My mom wants me to go on a mission trip with my church when im 16,but i dont want to go to Honduras because #1.I dont want to get 50million shots #2.I cant bear to see all those starving,naked,sick little kids #3 Im not a very good missionary.Im already struggeling at home as it is.But she wont give in.How can I convince her to let me stay at home?
Sincerely,
Hopeless

Dear “Hopeless,”
Wow, that’s a tough one. I would think that if you seriously do NOT want to go, she wouldn’t want to force you. Maybe you need to bring in a third person to help you make your point. Do you have a youth pastor or someone who can understand and respect your fear and hesitation? It’s my experience that if God wants you to do something like that (where you’re really laying down your life for others) he gives you the desire to want it too. It’s like being a cheerful giver. If you can’t serve in Honduras with a happy heart, why go? It wouldn’t be a very sincere witness anyway.
Blessings!
Caitlin

I like a geek and he likes me

2009-02-26T11:04:00.000-08:00

Dear Caitlin,
I like a geek, kinda a geek, and he likes me to, but he's not ready for a girlfriend like me, I'm the captain of the cheerleading squad, and of the volley ball team, and i dont mean to brag, but I am more popular than him, and I cant get it through to him that I REALLY like him, he thinks it would hurt my "status" at school or something, how can I talk to him
from, E.H..

Dear EH,
I think that’s very cool that you like a “geek” although that’s pretty hard to define, isn’t it. I mean you can obviously see some cool things about this guy. Why not just be his friend and see if you can win his trust. Some “geeks” have been hurt (often by “popular” kids) and they might be a little “gun shy” if you know what I mean.
Blessings!
Caitlin

Dating

2009-02-25T11:02:00.000-08:00

Dear Caitlin,i have been really encouraged by your books and the whole not dating thing(i think i will wait till i and out of high school, but i am not really counting the days ) and i was just woundering if things gets harder as time goes on ? for me i has i feel that god pushing great guys into my life right now and am having a hard time keeping to my post. do you have any question i can ask my self that will narrow down wheater a guy is "great"? or any tips that will help me ? oh i also wanted to know how you knew jeremy had fellings for chloe? hey could you tell that josh still had fellings for you after you rejected his request the first time ?
from, B

Dear B,
The guy and dating thing is complicated. All I can say is that it’s just a daily thing between you and God. And like so many things, you never know what’s around the next corner, but you’re always in good shape if you’re obeying your loving father. He only wants to bring good things into your life. Including the right guy—at the right time. Just trust him!
Blessings!
Caitlin

Pain

2009-02-24T11:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Caitlin,hey im a 14teen yearold mother to be and the father just brokeupp with me last night. The babys due date is sept.26. how do I deal with the pain?
from, N

Dear N,
You’re in a tough place! And my heart goes out to you. The best way I know to deal with pain is to take it directly to God. Remember that he’s your loving father—and will also be your baby’s loving father. He cares deeply for you and wants you to cry your tears on his shoulders. I pray that he watches over you this month, bringing surprise blessings into your life—and I pray that he leads you with his never-ending loving kindness and grace.
Blessings!
Caitlin

2009-02-23T10:58:00.000-08:00

Dear Caitlin, my best friend since second grade has decided to play hot patato. 'Cept I'm the potato. She's started hanging out with Daria and Ashley, the snobs of the grade. I know I shouldn't judge people, but they've made my life a living torture. We were talking the other day, and I said, "Yeah I'm a-", then Ashley walked in and she walked away from me!
I know she could have a reason for her snobbiness, but she doesn't! If she does, it isn't an excuse to be rude, is it?
from, V

Dear V,
I don’t know why some teen girls are so mean, but it seems to be a fact of life. But at least you get to choose your friends. Maybe you need to start looking for someone who’s not into being a snob. And if you want to read about a friendship that goes sideways when one girl dumps another to join the “snob group” try Dark Blue in the TrueColors series. I think you’ll relate to Kara.
Blessings!
Caitlin